my 65th birthday this year, my wife (THE DEAR) purchased
of personal training at the local health club for me.
I am still in great shape since playing
my college tennis team 45 years ago,
it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
the club and made my reservations
a personal trainer named Belinda,
identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor
model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started!
club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed,
found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find
waiting for me.
is something of a Greek goddess –
blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile.
Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines.
took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill.
was alarmed that my pulse was so fast,
I attribute it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobic outfit.
enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted
aerobics class after my workout today.
was encouraging as I did my sit-ups,
though my gut was already aching from holding it in
whole time she was around.
is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!
drank a whole pot of coffee,
I finally made it out the door.
made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar
the air -- then she put weights on it!
legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill,
I made the full mile.
rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.
feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.
only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush
the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it.
believe I have a hernia in both pectorals.
was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop.
parked on top of a LEXUS in the club parking lot.
was impatient with me,
that my screams bothered other club members.
voice is a little too perky for early in the morning
when she scolds,
gets this nasally whine that is VERY ANNOYING.
chest hurt when I got on the treadmill,
Belinda put me on the stair monster.
the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate
activity rendered obsolete by elevators?
told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life.
said some other SHIT, too.