CROSSANS ~ Hellraisers of Castlemilk

R U Daft?

Home
Pt. I - Crossans
Scotland
Celtic Myths
Gàidhlig
My Family
Hellraisers
Karrie Brigitte
Dedication
Farewell
Memories
Pt. II - Prologue
Sorrow's Journey
Living Years
Razor's Edge
Tempestuous
Stark Raving Madness
Shattered Illusions
Storms of Fate
Pt. III - Preface
Ch.1 - Dublin
Ch.2 - Rose
Ch.3 - James
Ch.4 - Sons of the Gael
Ch.5 - Glasgow
Hellions' Crucible
Ch.6 - The Hellraisers
The Tale
Sláinte
A Scot's Farewell
Our Story
Love a Crossan
Pt. IV - Contact Me
Shrewish Tales
R U Daft?
California Kids
Happy New Year!
BeMy...

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LOONEY INTRO

 

 

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IT'S 

 

 

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TIME…

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RESTRICT CAFFEINE BEFORE

 CLICKING THIS!

 

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LIFE IS...

 

 

 

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BETTER FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS,
 

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IT'S GOING TO BE A BUMPY RIDE!!

 

ALL ABOUT EVE

 

 

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DAFT!

 

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 HIS NAME IS BOND,

JAMES BOND

 

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SAYS HE WANTS A

MARTINI...

 

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CROSSAN LADS

 

 

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RECKON' WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE IS

A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE,

 

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MR. COOL HAND LUKE!

 

 

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SMILE WHEN YOU SAY THAT, PARDNER!

 

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POP QUIZ!!

 

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MY SHREWISH REPLY TO-

WHY AREN’T YOU MARRIED?

 

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BROTHERLY LOVE!

 

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AGE IS MIND OVER MATTER.

 

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IF YOU DON'T MIND,

 

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IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER! 

 

Jack Benny

 

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“THERE’S NOTHING TRAGIC ABOUT BEING

 FIFTY,

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NOT UNLESS YOU'RE TRYING TO BE

TWENTY-FIVE.”

 

SUNSET BLVD.

 

 

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GOTTA  HAVE  HEART!

 

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LIFE

 

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Miss Shrew

 

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007

 

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I am BONDED for life!

Tabhair dom póg, Sean!

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 BONDS?

 

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NOW THAT'S DAFT!

 

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Ain't Scottish or a Crossan either - so shoot me!

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Some PET PEEVES that CATS & DOGS have about HUMANS:

 

Yelling at me for

BARKING…

 

I'm a FUCKIN' DOG YOU MORON!

 
     

     

How you act

disgusted when

 

I LICK MYSELF

 

Look, we both know

the truth,

 

YOU'RE just JEALOUS!!!

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Taking me to the vet for the

 

 "BIG SNIP"

 

then acting surprised when I

 

FUCKIN' FREAK OUT

 

every time we go back!

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Now lay off us

on some of these things!

 

Besides, we both know

 

WHO'S BOSS HERE!!!

 

You don't see

US

picking up

 YOUR shit,

do you ?

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TRUST ME, MARVIN

 

You don't want to meet my leader,

MORTY THE MORTICIAN,

better suited working around

DEAD people!

 

(My nickname for my former  Boss-CEO)

 
     

     
 

 

How can I CALCULATE

 my BODY/FAT ratio?

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Well, if you have a BODY 

and you have BODY FAT,

your ratio is 1 to 1.

 

 If you have 2 bodies,

your ratio is 2 to 1, etc..

 

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My new BODY - Wowie, Meowie!!

 

Swimming & Weight Training has REALLY paid off! 

 

I feel like I'm in a DIFFERENT body!

 

Just a WET & WILD PUSSY

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… cat!

 

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God was just about done creating man, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve.

 

He told them one of the things He had left was

a THING that would allow the

 OWNER TO PEE WHILE STANDING UP.

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"It's a very HANDY thing,"

 

 God told them,"and I was wondering if either

 one of you had a preference for it."

 

Adam jumped up and down and begged,"

please give THAT to me!

 

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I'd love to be able to do that!

 

It seems like just the sort of thing a

MAN should have.

 

Please God! Pleeease! Give it to ME!

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So God gave Adam the THING that allowed him to

pee standing up.

 

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Adam was so excited he just started WHIZZING all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could

 hit a stump ten feet away -

laughing with delight all the while.

 

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God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're KIND OF STUCK

 with the last thing I have left."

 

"What's it called?" asked Eve.

 

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"BRAINS", said God.

 

 
     

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CHEERS!

 

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R U LOONEY?

 

 

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